Quirky Quest: From Pilgrimage to Paradisiacal Detention. (Based on true event.)
Disclaimer: Please note that this is solely the author’s personal view and inspiration about her feelings towards God following that memorable event. This story is not connected to any religious fatwa or jurisprudence and is purely a reflection of the author’s personal experience.
In mid-January of 2016, I was on my way back home to Singapore from my pilgrimage to Makkah and Madinah. Everything was smooth until I reached the immigration queue to get my passport stamped. Suddenly, I was pulled aside by a police officer in a full-blown black hijabi chador and escorted to their main office for further interrogation. Clueless as to why I was being detained, my pilgrimage group was visibly worried, but they assured me they wouldn’t leave without me, no matter what happened.
To my shock and awe, she was wearing a police uniform underneath. She released her ponytail, shook her head, and let her long, black silky hair cascade down her shoulders. Her uniform shirt was buttoned halfway, revealing just enough of her plump and rosy-pink cleavage to leave me gasping for air.
As I was led to the interrogation office, I noticed it was designated solely for women. Upon reaching the room, the officer in her hijabi chador started unveiling herself. To my shock and awe, she was wearing a police uniform underneath. She released her ponytail, shook her head, and let her long, black silky hair cascade down her shoulders. Her uniform shirt was buttoned halfway, revealing just enough of her plump and rosy-pink cleavage to leave me gasping for air.
Inside the room, there were three officers in total, all in their police uniforms without their chadors. Each of them had their shirts buttoned halfway down, showing off their ‘jewels’ – a sight only women and lesbians were privileged to see with no shame. One of them, a staff sergeant, seemed to be the leader and looked strikingly like Angelina Jolie. Honestly, all the officers were beautiful and gorgeous. As a lesbian, I felt like God had blessed my umrah with this unexpected treat of being surrounded by such beautiful women on my last day in KSA. It felt like I had stumbled into paradise.
The officer who had escorted me spoke to the others in Arabic, leaving me completely in the dark about what was being discussed. The staff sergeant then instructed one of the officers to ask me some questions. The officer approached me, glanced at my passport, and said, “So, you’re from Singapore?” I responded, “Yes…is there anything you want from me? Why am I here in your office?” Despite feeling uncomfortable, I was also oddly thrilled to be in the presence of such beauty. I felt as though my heart was pumping blood like a rollercoaster ride, ‘thump-thump…thump-thump….thump-thump.’
The officer continued, “You came here for Umrah, yah?” I nodded and replied, “Err… yes ma’am.” She sneered with a slanted smile and nodded. “Why are you wearing the male thobe with your hijab? Isn’t that strange?” she asked. She was right; I did look unusual because no women returning from pilgrimage wore a Moroccan thobe (a long dress for men) with a hijab like I did. Now I understood why they had detained me.
I explained, “Because I feel comfortable, more airy, and…it’s me!” I grinned widely and spread my arms, trying to lighten the mood. The officer relayed my explanation to the others in Arabic, and they all burst into laughter. I joined in, clueless about what else to do.
For a split second, the thought of telling her that I’m a lesbian who loves masculine dressing crossed my mind, but I quickly nixed that idea. I mean, come on, this is the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia! Not exactly the friendliest place for folks like me. What if these women are all straight? I could be punished, or worse, beheaded if I even hinted at flirting with one of them. That would be the end of my life as a lesbian.
I really wanted to live and, to be honest, I missed my home in Singapore. So, I kept my mouth shut, smiled, and laughed along with them, hoping to get out of there in one piece and with all my limbs intact.
The officer wanted to conduct a body check, but the sergeant stopped her, seemingly saying in Arabic, “Let me do the honor of checking her body.”
Ahem! That’s my body she’s talking about, y’all.
She then asked me to spread my arms and legs and started to pat me down. I wanted to scream “Hallelujah!” because imagine a beautiful woman who looked like Angelina Jolie touching every part of my body, every part of my limb, near my groin, and every inch of my soul being ravaged by her hands patting me down. Ooo la la… baby. Her pat down wasn’t aggressive; it felt warm, sensuous, soft, and graceful, tempting me to touch her as well. But I had to be practical – that was not going to happen. However, it indeed happens only in my deepest, darkest imaginations. Hehe…. (I’m inviting the reader to imagine that *wink wink*)
Come to think of it, I couldn’t help but wonder if she’s a closeted bisexual or a lesbian. She definitely set off my gaydar. Lol.
Anyway, after the body check, she looked at me, raised one side of her eyebrow just like Angelina Jolie in “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider,” and slowly grinned and winked at me. I beamed with joy and my heart skipped a beat, but kept my reaction subdued to avoid drawing too much attention and possibly delaying my clearance further.
The staff sergeant then instructed the officer who had escorted me to bring me back to my group. As I was leaving, she said in a thick Arabic accent, “Have a nice flight, sister, until we meet again, InshaAllah.” I replied, “Yes, InshaAllah,” and smiled all the way until I was clear of the immigration platform and boarded the plane back to Singapore.
The pilgrimage group I was part of was relieved that I made it through the detention process which lasted more than an hour. For me, I was feeling rather sad because all the attention I had with the beautiful, gorgeous immigration officers, especially the Angelina Jolie lookalike, would soon be gone and just a memory for me. There goes my paradise on earth, sigh.
God had shown this lesbian a paradise on earth. Thank you, Allah; I am ever so grateful for that moment. Conservatives may not accept my view, but to me, this experience felt like a blessing and a sign that my pilgrimage to the holy land and my sexuality has been accepted by Allah, especially after my last day with the ‘Angelina Jolie’ lookalike. Ameen to that!
I shall end with this words to ponder: “Always remember that Allah blessing is infinite and sometimes can be hilarious and fun.”
